The Facts

The founders of the world's major religions were actually Discordians.

Gautama Buddha, for example, expounded the Four Noble Truths and advocated living according the Noble Eightfold Path, a clear instance of the Law of Fives in action (4 x 8 = 32, 3 + 2 = 5).

Moses, the lawgiver of the Hebrews, originally received 12 commandments from Yahweh, but later, under Discordian inspiration, cut them down to 10 to conform to the Law of Fives (two tablets of five commandments each).

Prominent Discordian scholars have proved that the “secret teaching” of Jesus, transmitted by the Gnostics, was, indeed, Discordianism (don't believe us? See for yourself).

Even the acts of Jesus recorded in the exoteric Gospels provide unmistakable hints of his Discordian proclivities (changing water into wine, cursing a fig tree, picking corn on the Sabbath, etc.)

Lao Tsu, in the Tao Te Ching, says: “Governing a large state is like boiling a small fish,” a saying lifted directly from the Book of Usual.

 The holiest city of Islam, Mecca, has five letters in its name, and Muslims are enjoined to perform five sacred duties.

Shinto, the great religious tradition of Japan, adopted as its symbol the Five-Fingered Hand of Eris.

Indeed, the only great world-historical religious system that seems not to have been influenced by Discordianism from its inception is the Church of the Attractive Blue Lighter, which began not as a religion but as a lawn care business.