This is your Life™!

Dear customer,

Thank you for purchasing your very own Life™, another fine product from Eternity inc. Your Life™ is a quality product that meets or exceeds industry standards. Life™ has been tested thoroughly and, with proper care, should last you a lifetime.

To receive maximum enjoyment from your Life™, it is important that you treat it carefully. Use of Life™ may lead to injuries if you use it incorrectly or if you use it for long periods of time (more than one century) without taking breaks. To reduce the risk of injury please read the guidelines below, and take regular breaks when using Life™. Eternity inc. recommends the use of Reincarnation™ for the purpose of taking breaks when using Life™.

IMPORTANT! If you feel numbness or tingling in your limbs and/or vital organs, or if your complexion looks more pale than usual, stop using Life™ and consult a qualified health professional.

IMPORTANT! Before using your Life™, please check if you received the following: 1 Life™, 1 Container, 1 Soul™, several thousand small pieces of Styrofoam™ and these guidelines. Please contact Eternity Inc. if any of these items should be missing.

Taking care of your Life™

To maximize your enjoyment of your Life™, please follow these safety guidelines.

• Life™ was not intended to be used by fools and/or idiots. If at any point you feel the urge to stick your head in the microwave simply because these guidelines didn't tell you not to, please discontinue your use of Life™ and contact Eternity Inc. for a full refund.
• Do not submerge your Life™ in water. Do not subject your Life™ to fire, radiation or extreme temperatures.
• Do not attempt to remove the Soul™, as this can be very hazardous to your health. The Soul™ should only be removed by qualified service personnel.
• Do not place any bets on your Life™, as this product was not designed for such use.
• When not in use, please store your Life™ in the container it came in. Failure to do so may result in damage to the Soul™ and may render your Life™ useless. Eternity inc. recommends the use of Afterlife™ to keep your Soul™ in good condition over longer periods of non-activity.
• Do not take Life™ for granted, this may result in carelessness and injury.
• Your Soul™ was not meant for resale.
• Life™ is like a box of chocolates; don't leave it in the sun for too long.
• Should your Life™ take an unexpected twist, you should first attempt to get your Life™ back on track yourself. Failing this, try to take Life™ in your own hands. If all else fails, please contact the Helpdesk of Eternity Inc. Please note, that Eternity Inc. cannot be held responsible for any damages resulting from an unexpected twist.

Once again, Eternity Inc. thanks you for your purchase and congratulates you on your choice of Life™!

Be sure to try our other exciting Life™ products:

Life's Mysteries™, the expansion set that will baffle you!

Life's Little Jokes™, for those precious moments of irony.

Life's a Bitch™, an expansion set for adults.

© Eternity Inc. Life™, Soul™ and Afterlife™ are registered trademarks owned by Eternity Inc. Eternity Inc. assumes no reasonability for any errors that may appear in this manual. Information contained herein is subject to change without notice.